~Original illustration by: Wobbly Goggy.~
Today’s goal: kick some ass. @ATXGastronomist
animals
~Illustrated by: @hollandersauce~
My sister’s Chihuahua hasn’t stopped shivering in 9 years. @CrystalMoonable
~Original illustration by: Mitra Farmand~
Imagine a person you are jealous of. Now, imagine them wearing Crocs. Feel better? @hipstermermaid
Maybe the dinosaurs just got really depressed. 
~Original SJP Illustration by: YourPersonalCartoonist~
Nickelback is terrible, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse and bacon is delicious. Can we all please move on now? @OhNoSheTwitnt
A police horse shit on me. RT @McDonalds Happy Tuesday everyone! How’s your day going? @IamEnidColeslaw
“What.” – dogs in sweaters 
If people were shaped like snakes, socks would be called pants. – 
When I have a shit day, I imagine a T-Rex trying to shuffle cards and everything is fine again. @ProSexTips
